Recommendation Letters - Part 2
In part 2 of the recommendation letters post, I'll talk about how you can start reaching out to your recommenders and also help them draft a good letter.
In Part 1, we discussed how to choose the right recommenders—those who can genuinely vouch for your abilities and character. Now, in Part 2, we'll delve into the next crucial steps: how to approach your chosen recommenders, manage the logistics, and ensure that the letters they write truly enhance your application.
Asking for a recommendation can feel daunting. Whether it's a professor you haven't spoken to in a while, a current manager unaware of your grad school plans, or a former boss with whom you parted on less-than-ideal terms, the process requires tact and preparation.
But remember, feeling nervous about this step is natural—it shows that you value the process and want to handle it respectfully. In this post, we'll cover:
Strategies for reaching out to your recommenders effectively.
Tips for providing them with the information they need to write a compelling letter.
Ways to manage timelines and follow-ups without causing undue stress.
Let's navigate this together and ensure that your recommendation letters become a strong asset in your application journey.
Finalising Your List of Recommenders
Most universities will ask you for three Letters of Recommendation — though this number can change depending on the programme and the year. Sometimes, they specify who these recommenders should be (for example, one academic and one professional). Other times, they leave it open.
If they haven’t mentioned who the third recommender should be, my two cents:
Choose someone who can speak about you as a person. Someone who can highlight your soft skills, the human side of your journey — how you show up as a collaborator, as a learner, as a colleague. Because trust me, these things matter just as much as your GPA or work experience.
You also don’t need to have the same set of recommenders for every university. Your list can (and probably should) change depending on what each programme values and what parts of your experience you want to highlight. There will likely be some overlap across universities, but it’s completely fine to mix and match depending on what makes sense for that particular application.
For example:
If one school is heavy on academic research, you might want two academic recommenders and one professional.
If another programme values work experience more, maybe you flip that ratio.
If a particular course is focused on leadership or social impact, think about who in your network has really seen you shine in those areas.
What helped me was sitting down and mapping out — for each university — what skills or traits I want the recommendation letters to speak about. And then deciding who would be the best person to speak to those qualities.
Managing the Ask (Without Making It Awkward)
Once you’ve decided who your recommenders are, the next step is actually asking them. And here’s where most of the anxiety creeps in.
So here’s the golden rule: give them time.
Reach out at least one month before your earliest deadline (honestly, the earlier the better). No one likes last-minute requests — especially for something that requires effort, thought, and care.
Most universities will ask you to provide your recommender’s details (name, designation, email, relationship with you, etc.) on the application portal. Once you fill that in, the system automatically sends them a link to upload the letter. Before entering any of this, double-check with your recommenders — confirm the email they want you to use, their official designation, and whether they’ve received the link after you submit their details.
If your recommenders are handling letters for multiple universities on your behalf (which they often will), inform them upfront about all the places you’re applying to and the respective deadlines. This avoids last-minute confusion and lets them plan their time better.
A Few Tips That Helped Me Stay Sane (and Made Life Easier for My Recommenders):
Be clear about what skills you want each person to highlight.
If two recommenders end up writing about the exact same thing, that’s a missed opportunity. Instead, suggest different areas for each person to focus on (for example, one talks about your leadership and initiative, another about your research skills). It’s okay to gently guide them by sharing bullet points or examples that they’ve seen firsthand.If there are any weak spots in your application — say, a low grade, a semester off, a break from work — talk to your recommenders about it. They can address these things in their letter, framing them as learning experiences or evidence of resilience. And yes, admissions committees do appreciate stories of perseverance.
Have a single email thread for each university’s application.
Trust me on this — your recommenders will thank you when they don’t have to dig through their inbox to find which deadline belongs to which school.Create a shared Google Drive folder with your application materials (draft essays, your CV, programme details, deadlines). This way, your recommenders have everything in one place — no need for back-and-forth attachments or downloads.
Ask your recommenders how they’d like to be reminded.
Some may prefer email nudges; others might ask you to give them a call. Whatever works for them — respect that. Once they let you know their preference, write those reminder emails in advance and schedule them. This way, you won’t forget (and neither will they).Remember: In most cases, you can still submit your application even if all your LoRs haven’t come in yet. But do check with the admissions team and always inform them politely if a letter might be delayed by a few days.
Setting the Right Expectations: What Makes a Good LoR?
The truth is, admissions committees read hundreds (if not thousands) of recommendation letters. And most of them sound… the same.
“X is hardworking, intelligent, and has excellent academic credentials.”
“Y was a top performer in my course and received an A+.”
Honestly, these lines don’t add much. The committee already has your CV, your grades, and your transcripts. They’re not looking for someone to repeat that.
What they’re really looking for is something specific — a story, an example, an honest reflection of what it’s like to work with you or teach you.
Picture these two recommendations:
“Person X has an excellent academic record with a 9.0 GPA and received an A+ in my course on the philosophy of policy-making.”
Vs.
“Person X initially struggled in my course on ethical policymaking, coming from a non-social science background. But they showed immense determination — engaging with difficult texts like Rawls and Nozick, leaning into peer learning, and consistently seeking feedback. By the end of the term, they earned an A+, and I was particularly impressed by how they connected theories of distributive justice to real-world issues like unequal access to education for low-income families.”
The second one gives you a sense of the person behind the grades. It tells you about their work ethic, curiosity, and how they respond to challenges. This is the kind of letter that stands out.
So, how do you make sure your recommenders write something closer to the second example?
You guide them (gently).
Share with them:
What the programme is about.
Why you’re applying.
What key skills or experiences have they seen in you that align with the programme?
If there are weak spots in your application (bad grades, gaps), let them know if you'd like those addressed and how.
And again — if your recommender happens to be someone with a big name in academia or the professional world, great. But honestly, a thoughtful letter from someone who knows you well is far better than a generic note from a famous person who barely remembers your name.
Key Takeaways: What’s My Point?
Letters of Recommendation aren’t just formalities. They’re not meant to be a list of your achievements (your CV already does that). A good LoR adds heart to your application. It brings in an outside voice that says, “Hey, I’ve worked with this person. I’ve taught them, managed them, seen them in action — and here’s why I believe in their potential.”
But that only happens if you’re thoughtful about who you ask, how you ask, and how much context you give them to write the best possible letter for you.
It’s okay to feel awkward asking. It’s okay to feel nervous about following up. But remember — your recommenders are on your side. And if you make their life easier by being organised, respectful of their time, and clear about your expectations, chances are they’ll not only agree to help but will also put genuine effort into writing a letter that reflects your journey well.
Because at the end of the day, this part of the application isn’t just about what’s written about you — it’s about how you show up to ask for support.